An Ann Coulter warning
This is the early Ann Coulter warning. The Department of Homeland Security has issued an Ann Coulter Live Microphone warning. At 12:30 PM EST on Saturday, February 28th, Ann Coulter will be given a live microphone to speak into. According to the Ann Coulter Early Warning Agency, exposure to Coulter over amplified sound may result in irritation, a bad taste in your mouth, and even nausea. Listeners may even have an overwhelming desire to take a shower after exposure.
Because she has books to sell, this Ann Coulter episode may be especially severe, and people with good taste are advised to take all precautions necessary. The public is warned to shield the ears of small children if in the vicinity of Coulter or the expected multiple re-broadcasts. Aftershocks are expected across the various cable news channels.
This has been the early Ann Coulter warning system.