Thursday, December 8th, 2016

Can I get fries with her?

1

“This is the city. Waukesha, Wisconsin. I live here… I’m glad I’m not a cop.”

From today’s police blotter:

8:10 p.m. – A caller in the 2300 block of East Moreland Boulevard reported that a subject who had threatened to kill his own wife and all her boyfriends in the past was at McDonald’s handing out papers with the caller’s phone number on it.The subject was telling people that they should call the number if they want to have sex with his wife.The caller received phone calls from various people who had gotten her phone number from the subject.The caller was also one of the people the subject threatened to kill.

Yes, the guy was obviously a few fries short of a happy meal. Admit it, you want to know the rest of the story. You also want to know how many people were calling to warn her versus how many people were really calling for sex.

6:43 a.m. – A caller in the 300 block of South Comanche Lane reported that a 16-year-old male wouldn’t wake up for school.The caller requested the police come and wake him up and get him to school. She canceled the call 10 minutes later because she was able to get him up and “believed he is on the right track.”

I’d recommend a taser. After all, nothing says “family” like a taser.

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