Saturday, October 22nd, 2016

Can’t park here


Jeff at Five Points, an advocate of bringing for-profit baseball to Frame Park, tries to dismiss the parking issue. If you look carefully in each of his pictures you can see the “No Parking” signs. He suggests maybe those restrictions could be lifted on game days.

Since there is no plan presented and no study on how lifting those restrictions will affect those areas in traffic flow, safety, noise and other considerations, it’s a moot point unless he can convince the city and the Northwoods baseball league to hold back on their proposal for another year while all of these problems are worked out. Besides, as one commenter pointed out, the street “parking” Jeff found amounts to about 100 spaces. 1000 or more cars to go.

I have this vision of Jeff standing on White Rock like George Costanza acting as a parking service screwing up traffic for blocks around while Woody Allen is trying to shoot a movie near by.
Elaine: What happened, what took you so long?!

Paramedic: We got here twenty minutes ago but we couldn’t move, the whole
intersection is gridlocked, I’ve never seen anything like it. So finally we
make the turn and this guy who’s running around triple-parking cars slammed into
us with a blue Escort.

Jerry: Blue Escort? That’s my rent-a-car!

George enters, blotting his forehead with a washcloth.

George: Oh man.

Jerry: What happened to the car?

George: Sorry, you don’t know what’s going on out there! (looks at Owen)
Who’s he?

Elaine: This guy I’m seeing.

George: What happened?

Jerry: We don’t know!

Paramedic: Who put cookies in his mouth?

Jerry and Elaine: Cookies?

Paramedic: You’re not supposed to do that.

Jerry: So how’d you hit the car?

George: I was moving it across the street, I looked up and I saw Woody Allen
and I got all distracted.

Jerry: It’s not even my car, it’s a rental.

Kramer enters.

Kramer: What are you doing out there?! You’re holding up the production of the
movie! We can’t shoot and Woody, he’s really mad at you.

George: Woody mentioned me? What did he say?

Kramer: He said, ‘Who’s the moron in the blue jacket who’s got the street all
screwed up?’

George: Should I apologize to Woody?

Kramer: Alright, I’ll tell you what. Next time I talk to him, maybe I’ll bring
it up. I’ll feel him out.

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