Saturday, December 3rd, 2016

Cranky

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It’s Lent. I’ve given up soda. SO DON’T LET THE COFFEE RUN OUT WITHOUT MAKING ANOTHER POT. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!

Giving up Coca-Cola is like giving up crack cocaine, only I can’t blame the CIA for my addiction. I think the lack of caramel-colored sugar, caffeine and fizz is MAKING ME CRAZY.

I gave up booze once and it was easy time. Easy time, I tell you. Except there was one time I was at an event and beer was free and soda was $3.

Do you know why they felt safe charging $3 for a small glass of Coca-Cola? Because it’s like crack cocaine, that’s why. You don’t see the Miller and Budweiser reps out there tearing each other’s signs down, do you? They just fight using lawyers. I’m surprised there aren’t gangland killings over Coke vs. Pepsi.

I’m driving home at 4:30pm, so I suggest you people clear I-94 at that time because there will be road rage.

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