Tuesday, October 25th, 2016

Debate tonight. Cocktail anyone?


The Emory Wheel notes that presidential debates have had very little impact on the outcomes of elections.  Even the supposed great gaffe by President Ford did not prevent him from gaining ground (just not enough) on Governor Jimmy Carter all the way up to election day.  But they’re not completely useless:

For there’s no denying reality: Ever since they’ve become a set part of the pageantry and narrative of our nation’s presidential elections, the debates have made for some truly legendary opportunities for drinking games.

It’s true. Whether you’re waiting to see how many times Sen. John McCain starts a phrase with “My friends,” Sen. Joe Biden fails to control himself from commenting on Sarah Palin’s attractiveness or Gov. Palin fires off a riff featuring a similitude that includes pitbulls, hockey moms and lipstick, I predict your night will be far more productive in the long run than those of Sens. Obama and McCain — a prediction made safer by the fact that even the latter doesn’t want to be at the debate, despite the fact that debates are one of the few opportunities available to losing campaigns to receive equal time and coverage.

The Observer, the student newspaper of Case Western Reserve University, has what I think is the most fair and fun drinking game I have managed to find for tonight’s debate.  A sample:

Whenever McCain…

Addresses the audience as "my friends" – 1 drink

A member of the audience jumps up shouting, "Shut up, McCain! You’re not my friend! It’s not like you call me asking if we can hang out on the weekend or would lend me 20 bucks!" – 2 drinks

Recommends increasing troop protections by issuing +1 armor – 3 drinks

Makes a joke about being old and/or references his mother – 1 gin and tonic

Tries to market himself as a unique maverick in vain hope that people won’t remember he’s from the same party as George W. Bush – 1 drink

Mentions he was a POW – 1 drink

The moderator says, "Wait, you were a POW? I didn’t know that!" – 2 drinks

Is questioned on how exactly being a POW prepares him to be President – 3 drinks

Whenever Obama…

Says "folks" – 1 drink

Mentions Indonesia, Hawaii, or Kenya – 1 drink

Is referred to as "Osama" by McCain or the moderator – 2 drinks and a kick in the shins

Tells an anecdote about a middle-class woman who can’t get by – 1 drink

Says something so socialist that he could be quoting a communist leader – 1 vodka shot

He is quoting a communist leader – 2 shots

If there is hope for bipartisanship, it is definitely with the younger generation.

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