Sunday, January 20th, 2019

Don Snowflake Quixote


If Michael Horne could have just one thing changed at the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, it would be the snowflakes.

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel squares the hexagon (Romenesko)

Here I am again — perhaps for the last time this season — on a quest begun in 2011 to respectfully ask that the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Snowflake graphics be SIX-SIDED snowflakes.

Why am I on this quest?

Every real snowflake since the first one has been six-sided (or pointed). Four-pointed snowflakes are an offense to nature and an insult to the structure of crystallized water.

I checked and, since I trust everything I read on the internet, I learned that Horne would probably get a “pants on fire” rating from Politifact. However, I would rate his statement half-true. While snowflakes come in odd shapes, most of the them are hexagonal in nature. More important, none of them are square.

Some snowflakes are even bullet-shaped. Imagine those snowflakes appearing as the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel snow graphic. Given the violent crime in the city, it would be appropriate.

I’m not sure if Horne has taken to nailing 95 paper hexagonal snowflakes to the door of the newspaper office yet, and I’m not privy to the response he’s received from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. However, I suspect the newspaper’s response was along the lines,

Those are Pulitzer Prize-winning snowflake graphics. – George Stanley

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