Don’t let this happen to you
First, let me note that the Menomonee Falls police officer assigned to traffic duty along Lisbon Avenue was very nice and professional, so this is not to disparage in any way Officer Bellows. In fact, he was so nice about it I almost forgot the humiliating flashing lights of his car and everyone driving past me gawking like I was going to be on the news that night, “Dangerous criminal located in routine traffic stop.” No, I have no complaint about Officer Bellows.
But Menomonee Falls has too many cops and is collecting too much in ticket revenue. How do I know?
I didn’t get pulled over for speeding.
I had my seat belt on.
My radio was not too loud.
I was not driving erratically.
None of my lights were malfunctioning.
My car did not resemble Cheech and Chong’s “Up in Smoke”.
I was pulled over soley because I forgot to send in my “fee” to the state to have my license renewed.
But it gets better. When Officer Bellows handed me my ticket, it came in a nice jacket that looked like he had just handed me my boarding pass at Midwest Airlines’ ticket counter.
Law Enforcement Officers of Wisconsin
“If I overlook
this traffic violation,
I would be disregarding
the value of your life.”
Gee, thanks, that’s why I’m pulled over on the gravel on a busy stretch of road while you’re handing me a citation that has absolutely nothing to do with safety and everything to do with funding the state coffers. After you’re done I’ll have to merge with traffic and hopefully not get killed in the process. That’s if, of course, I can pull back onto the road on this gravel rather than slide into the ditch. Which means my life is valued at $83.80.
But nice jacket cover for the ticket. Now I won’t feel like a complete schmuck when I hand my wife the ticket.
“Look honey, we’re going on a trip!”
“Menomonee Falls courthouse!”
Won’t be nearly as fun as when I surprised her with a trip to Buchner Park.
Become part of the solution.
Avoid high-risk driving.
And be careful on Lisbon Avenue.