Early winner of euphemism of the year
Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk last November.
They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.
Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: “The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck.”
Somebody should warn the “self-employed engineer” to stop it or he’ll go blind. Drinking like that, I mean.