Saturday, November 18th, 2017

Going for illegal status


Given the amount of hassle to buy legal cold medicine my wife just had to go through: the long wait, the forms, the invasion of privacy, the denial of her first preference and then having to start all over again, I don’t think it’s worth the effort to do things the legal way.

No, I’ve decided that since it’s easier to buy illegal drugs that it would be silly of me to buy legal drugs.

Now, granted, I may have to go a little out of my way to buy them, and I may have to deal with some shady characters, and there will be some risk involved, but it’s not like there’s a wall preventing me from buying illegal drugs. A few overworked federal agents – maybe.

But when I tell people why I’m going the illegal route, I’m sure nobody will turn me in, right? After all, I’m really just speeding up the progress by going illegal. And after some time, the government may even legalize the illegal cold medicine, or at least offer amnesty.

Besides, I’m really, really desperate, otherwise I would never consider going illegal. And other than the way I got my cold medicine, I’m a normal law abiding citizen. I pay taxes. I’m just like all of you, except illegal.

You have no right to look at me differently. After all, I’m just one of millions of illegal drug users. And I’ve been using cold medicine in this country long before many of you. My Norwegian ancestors got a cold in North America before almost all of your ancestors. Would you deny me my heritage as an indigenous North American cold sufferer? You racists.

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