Friday, July 19th, 2019

Going to town of Brown Chicken Brown Cow in Town of Waukesha


As I explain in my column in today’s Waukesha Freeman* the Town of Waukesha’s politics are just bizarre. I mention a couple of oddities about the upcoming election and the shameful treatment of the current clerk by one faction in the town. However, let me give you one more story about the strangeness of town politics.

Despite cutting taxes and reducing spending, Town Chairman John Marek has an opponent in Tuesday’s election, Wayne Krzyzanowski. Wayne Krzyzanowski’s wife Milette Krzyzanowski is also running for the town board.

Last year Wayne Krzyzanowski stood up during the public comment portion of a meeting on March 27, 2014, to comment on a proposal to hook up the town hall to the city sewer. Krzyzanowski told a story about a party he held which resulted in a clogged septic system.

According to Kryzanowski, some city folk at the party must have had a really good time at his home. A really good time.

(Parents, make sure the kids are out of the room for this part.)

It turns out the Krzyzanowski’s septic system was clogged by condoms flushed down the toilet during the party. As he explained at the town board meeting:

At a previous party some city folks were taking sexual pleasures in my house and flushed their condoms into my septic system. The condoms clogged the pipe from the tank to the leech bed. The problem was solved and everybody was made aware that this method of disposal was not acceptable.

So remember city folks, used condoms at the Krzyzanowski mansion go into the wastebasket instead.

Most of us, if we were ever put in that embarrassing situation**, would probably spare our neighbors that story instead of telling everyone at a town hall meeting. Unless the story is followed with, “So you’re all invited to the next party,” but Krzyzanowski wasn’t so inviting. It’s probably BYOB anyway – bring your own bathrobe.

Most politicians don’t make their public debut by telling stories from “Tales of the Kennedy Compound.” In the immortal words of John Winger, Wayne Krzyzanowski you’re a madman. I want to party with you, cowboy.

So remember Town of Waukesha residents. Election Day is Tuesday. If the Election Night victory party is a rockin’ don’t come a knockin’. And I wouldn’t leave your coat on the bed.

(*For just 75¢ you can do your crossword puzzle in ink instead of pixels.  **Last guests at our house got cheese and crackers. We were out of condoms. Was that a faux pas?)

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