Saturday, October 1st, 2016

Good thing they didn’t invade the surrounding neighborhoods

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France finally figured out a way to win a war.

Lions officials are reeling today after a surprise attack by France, in which French forces besieged and captured all Lions property within the city of Detroit.

French paratroopers landed at team headquarters at around 2:30 a.m. local time. After initial resistance, French heavy armor was deployed to the compound and quickly subdued remaining lions »”>Detroit Lions forces. By 5:30 am, the Detroit Lions surrendered unconditionally to the invading French forces.

France finlly sheds the image of “loser.”

France—known in the academic world as the “Detroit Lions of War”—had been on a century-plus skid since their victory in the Battle of Fuzhou in 1884, when the French Navy destroyed a Chinese fleet made almost entirely of wood.

“We obviously wanted to shut the door on all the heartache we’ve been through over the past century,” French President Nicolas Sarkozy told SSNN. “We saw our opportunity and pounced on it. We’ve finally moved past losing Napoleon, and we’re ready to begin a new chapter of our lives in the 21st Century.

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