Tuesday, May 21st, 2019

I like what we wrote the royal family in 1776 better


I realize there is a certain amount of diplomatic protocol, but this still irritates me:

Statement by the President and Mrs. Obama Congratulating Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge

Michelle and I are so pleased to congratulate The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge on the joyous occasion of the birth of their first child. We wish them all the happiness and blessings parenthood brings. The child enters the world at a time of promise and opportunity for our two nations. Given the special relationship between us, the American people are pleased to join with the people of the United Kingdom as they celebrate the birth of the young prince.

Bad enough we address them by their royal titles, but do we have to add, “Their Royal Highnesses?”

How about,

“Dear Hanoverian Usurpers,*

Thanks for allowing American cable television news to cover your decision not to have an abortion. Hopefully the kid takes after Diana’s side of the family. No offense, but Grandpa Charles is a little cuckoo.

Have a nice day.”


* Thanks to the late Christopher Hitchens.
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