Tuesday, December 6th, 2016

I rarely endorse candidates

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But I heartily endorse Joey the Love Sponge for mayor of Wauwatosa. Some of his campaign promises:

I will change the sign on the door from Mayor to Burgermeister.
Then the very next thing I would do is go directly to the TTS and change my screen name to Meisterburger.

Then I will become the Burgermeister Meisterburger.

I’ll also promise to wear the same helmet as Colonel Klink, and refer to all my subjects as “meine liebchen”


In my first one hundred days, I promise to declare war on some crappy third world country like Iran or Venezuela or some other fever swamp.
You know, any old town board can draft resolutions to demand the end to US involvement in the war in Iraq, but if we are proactive and declare war on another country, boy, will we ever get the headlines…big bucks kinds of headlines too!
We’ll have all the majors here in town, eating our tosa food, sleeping in our tosa hotel beds, and broadcasting about our crazy mayor who talks like Colonel Klink, writes haiku, and has just declared war on Venezuela. We can even pass a special tax just on them, and really rake in the dough while they’re here. Really, when you think about it, what’s the risk?

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