Monday, May 20th, 2019

Is Halloween a Trick or a Treat?


Robert Mentzer of the Wausau Daily Herald and his wife Laura Scudiere have different opinions of Halloween. Mentzer hates Halloween.

Face it, guys, Halloween is a crap holiday. You don’t get a day off. You have to put your hands inside the disgusting, gooey guts of a pumpkin, and then face the prospect that the jack-o-lantern you slaved over will end up being smashed in the street by a bunch of terrible teenagers in Insane Clown Posse makeup.

And worst of all, Halloween has no good food traditions. Thanksgiving has turkey and cranberry sauce; Easter has ham; Christmas has egg rolls (my aunt is from Thailand; in my family it does!); and on the summer holidays at least you get to barbecue.

Not surprisingly, his wife has the last word… in more ways than one.

Face it, Mentzer, Halloween is a wonderful holiday, filled with free chocolate treats and the smell of autumn. I for one think Halloween deserves to creep into more of October. In the past, Halloween night would appear out of nowhere, and you would be tasked with making a costume out of old pantyhose and toilet paper tubes. But now, you are reminded for weeks by pumpkin-flavored everything popping up in your local coffee store.

In addition, I cannot see how zombies invading a anniversary dinner can be anything but delightful to all but the most curmudgeonly of guests. If there were a Halloween version of “bah-humbug,” Robert Mentzer would surely embrace the term.

But I know a secret, dear reader. I can tell you for a fact that Mentzer will be out there with our 2-year-old son on Halloween night, dressed as a box of crayons, enthusiastically taking pictures with his phone. He’ll do it because Halloween is an American tradition at its most pure, full of flash and mirth.

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