Friday, September 30th, 2016

Is this not America?

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Attention General Electric, Whirlpool, and other electric clothes dryer manufacturers:

I don’t want an “energy star-rated” energy efficient clothes dryer. I want one that spins the kilowatts per hour on my meter like I’m looking at a time lapse film. I want a dryer that, instead of having a lint trap, has a molten lava trap. I want a dryer that can cause global warming all by itself. I want a dryer that has a Chernobyl setting.I want a dryer that, when I stick clothes into it to be dried, research scientists from around the globe come to my house to see what happens when the dryer reaches it’s upper temperatures. I want a clothes dryer that can make glaciers recede like an ice cube from my refrigerator in the summer sun.

Because forget the moon landing. If we can have a microwave oven that can cook a hot dog for me in 20 seconds, surely we can have a clothes dryer that actually dries clothes when they tumble inside it for an hour.

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