Thursday, December 8th, 2016

No Tartars were harmed in the making of dinner

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So the other day I was at Walmart and I was buying fish sticks. The kids like ’em. Walmart was completely out of Tartar sauce.

I don’t know of any actual Tartars that use mayonnaise products with pickle relish, but if I am going to eat fish and the box refuses to tell me what species, I am going to need Tartar sauce. So I asked a Walmart helpful person if she knew where they might be hiding the Tartar sauce. She led me right back to where I was looking, with all the other condiments, and we did another inventory of the sauce selection. Alas, no sauce de Tartar.

As we were abandoning the search, the Walmart helpful person offered to explain the recipe for Tartar sauce. “Ma’am,” I said carefully, “If I was interested in doing any cooking or mixing, would I be buying fish sticks?”

She was at a loss for words until another Walmart helpful person found a rack of Tartar sauce in a rack at the end of the frozen food aisle.

By the way, it’s really annoying that Walmart dropped the hyphen.

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