Predictions for 2012
Time for predictions. Every year I make them and then (unlike most other pundits) we check them again at the end of the year to see just how good they were. It’s hard to imagine a year more fraught with peril for prognosticators than 2012. The good news is the world is going to end anyway so none of you will be around to say, “I told you so.”
1. Former Governor Tommy Thompson will be the next senator from Wisconsin. There. I said it.
2. Graeme Zielinski will bite the head off of a bat the night Governor Scott Walker wins the recall election. Animal rights activists will blame Walker.
3. The Republicans will lose control of the state senate in the recalls but regain control in November.
4. Both voter ID and the state’s legislative redistricting will stand up in court.
5. People Magazine will name me, “The Sexiest Man Alive.”
6. A member of the state legislature will be arrested for operating under the influence following a serious accident.
7. The Freedom From Religion Foundation will sue to have the Declaration of Independence banned from public schools because of references to “God” and “Creator” and “Supreme Judge.”
8. Governor Scott Walker will get to appoint a member of the state supreme court. Liberals will suddenly decide they like judicial elections.
9. Former Dane County Executive Kathleen Falk will be the Democratic nominee for governor in the recall election. Tom Barrett, Herb Kohl, JoAnne Kloppenburg, Dave Obey, Ron Kind, and Steve Kagen will not run.
10. Ed Garvey will complain about Kathleen Falk’s inability to run an effective statewide campaign, and he’ll complain Congressman Tammy Baldwin is not listening to his advice on how to beat Tommy Thompson.
11. WISN’s Mark Belling will make more money betting at the track than working for the radio station.
12. The Great TV Auction on Channel 10 in Milwaukee will not raise as much money and the quality of the donations will be down. MATC will announce by the end of the year that they are selling the warehouse and cancelling the auction for 2013.
13. State Representative Mark Pocan will be the next congressman from Dane County.
14. Paul Ryan, Ron Kind, Gwen Moore, Reid Ribble, Tom Petri, Jim Sensenbrenner, and Sean Duffy will all win re-election.
15. The margin for president in Wisconsin will be closer than in 2004.
16. Nationally, Mitt Romney will defeat Barack Obama in November with 315 Electoral College votes.
17. Waukesha County Clerk Kathy Nickolaus will have another error in another election that makes headlines. She will lose the Republican primary. She’ll blame the media for everything.
18. Protestors will still continue to gather in the Capitol without permits and will still continue to disrupt the building without penalty.
19. Dan Bice will sing the “Gossip Girls” song from Hee Haw on YouTube.
20. Somebody will hurt themselves riding a bicycle over the Hoan Bridge. They’ll blame me.
21. Herman Cain will remember meeting someone of the opposite sex.
22. The proposed trolley for downtown Milwaukee will be shelved as too expensive. Barrett will propose using the money to buy “express vans” to get people to work. Waukesha County will offer to sell their vans to Milwaukee for a profit.
23. Ron Paul will say something crazy. He will also not run as a third-party candidate, instead choosing to run for re-election to his House seat.
24. Dennis Kucinich’s congressional career will end with a loss in the Democratic Primary to Marcy Kaptur.
25. More Republicans will find something else to do other than hope Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner retires.
26. A member of the legislature or the Walker Administration will be injured in a physical assault in Madison. Nobody will be charged.
27. KISS’s Gene Simmons will appear at the Republican National Convention and endorse Mitt Romney. Then he’ll teach Romney how to spit fire during the debates.
28. The proposed convention center in the city of Waukesha will die because of the required “public investment.”
29. Carroll University will change its name back to Carroll College.
30. City of Milwaukee Police Chief Ed Flynn and Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke will arrest each other. Because Flynn’s radio will fail and Flynn’s de-emphasis on response times, Clarke’s deputies will arrive first to provide backup. Flynn will escape from the County Jail by smuggling in an entire hardware store past the deputies.
31. It’s not a question of “if” as it is “how much?” Republicans will control the US Senate with a 55 seat majority.
32. City of Waukesha Mayor Jeff Scrima will appear in the city of Waukesha Christmas Parade as a giant balloon parade float paid for by his New Day for Waukesha fund.
33. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel will start featuring “Page 3” girls in the print edition.
34. Milwaukee County Executive Chris Abele will give his re-election victory speech in iambic pentameter.
35. Winning in Republican primaries in Wisconsin will be practically impossible without a concealed-carry weapons permit.
36. There will be no criminal convictions of anyone currently serving in the Walker Administration as a result of the John Doe probe.
37. Former Congresssman Mark Neumann will finish third in the voting when the Republican Party’s state convention endorses a candidate for governor.
38. The mining bill will pass the legislature with few changes.
39. Former Waukesha Mayor Larry Nelson will win a seat on the Waukesha County Board. He’ll wear his red Crocs on election night.
40. Milwaukee Magazine’s Bruce Murphy will find something nice to say about talk radio.
41. Milwaukee Brewers will finish in third place in their division with an 80-82 record.
42. “Co-sleeping” infant deaths will go up in the city of Milwaukee.
43. Peter Jackson’s “The Hobbit” will be the biggest film event of 2012.
44. Former Senator Russ Feingold will be on the “short list” to replace Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg
45. Ryan Braun will not escape serving a 50 game suspension.
46. The JS Everywhere pay wall will be a success.
47. Senator Ron Johnson will do more good in 2012 than former Senator Russ Feingold did in his entire career.
48. A bill will be introduced introduced to allow 24 hour beer sales at gas stations, convenience stores and grocery stores.
49. Assembly Minority Leader Peter Barca will use language not allowed on television to complain about Speaker Pro Tem Bill Kramer. Kramer will ask Barca to repeat it for the record.
50. California will kill their high speed rail project. Wisconsin liberals will blame Scott Walker.