Predictions for 2013
Every year I make a list of predictions, and every year we check last year’s predictions. This year I consulted my spirit guide Joan, a bartender I knew in a previous life, to help me see deep into the future (or at least the next few months). After rubbing the magic martini shaker, I began to see visions of pink elephants. But then I sobered up and wrote this instead.
Remember, I offer these predictions in the spirit in which they were written, whatever that means. Please, no wagering.
- Justice Patience “Pat” Roggensack will win re-election.
- Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett will not receive an appointment from President Barack Obama.
- The John Doe investigation into the county administration under Scott Walker when he was Milwaukee County Executive will produce no further prosecutions.
- Tony Evers will win re-election at State Superintendent for the Department of Public Instruction. The legislature will then take away more of his responsibilities.
- Neither branch of the legislature will vote to abolish the Secretary of State position or the State Treasurer position.
- Voter ID will prevail in court.
- There will be unsuccessful attempts made to recall Justices David Prosser, Annette Ziegler and Michael Gableman.
- I will become a paid spokesman for Snickers.
- The city of Waukesha will not break ground on a convention center. No agreement will be reached between the city and the developers on financing.
- Assembly Speaker Pro Tem Bill Kramer (R-Waukesha) will be caught throwing paper airplanes from the chair.
- Milwaukee County Executive Chris Abele will be fined for launching fireworks off the Courthouse roof.
- Governor Scott Walker will not overrule his transportation secretary and the Zoo Interchange project will be delayed.
- Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner will announce his intention to run for re-election in 2014.
- Wisconsin will cut the state income tax.
- The City of Waukesha will receive approval of the diversion from Lake Michigan.
- Milwaukee County Executive Chris Abele will again propose a budget with no increase in the tax levy. At least one Milwaukee County Board member will call him a racist because of it.
- Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke will drive over one of his own car chase spike strips.
- There will be no long term fix for transportation funding in the next state budget.
- The state legislature will pass a mining bill acceptable to Gogebic Taconite.
- Global warming will cause snow and rain, after causing last year’s drought. Tornadoes will be Governor Scott Walker’s fault.
- Palermo’s Pizza workers will vote against unionization. There will be no apologies from anyone on the left.
- Christian Schneider will start wearing sunglasses on Sunday Insight with Charlie Sykes.
- Herb Kohl will announce he’s keeping the Milwaukee Bucks but selling the Milk Barn at State Fair.
- No gun control measures will pass the state legislature.
- City of Waukesha Mayor Jeff Scrima will announce plans to run for re-election. He will claim to have fulfilled all of his campaign promises – vigorously.