Tuesday, October 25th, 2016

Queer Eye for the Senate Guy


Disgraced Idaho Senator Larry Craig will not resign on Sunday as planned.

Though Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, had previously pledged to resign by Sunday, amid allegations he cruised for gay sex in a public bathroom, he now says he will stay in office.

“Sen. Larry Craig denies that he went into that restroom for anything other than to go to the restroom,” said Craig’s attorney Billy Martin, arguing Wednesday that his client’s only mistake was pleading guilty to a crime he did not commit in the hopes of making it go away.

Going to the restroom just to go to the restroom? Is that like climbing a brokeback mountain just because it’s there? Or trying it because he might like it?

Look, the guy was caught with his hand in the next stall. I may not be the most sophisticated when it comes to seeking public homosexual encounters in the airport men’s room, but even I can figure out why someone might be touching my foot and then reaching his hand into my stall without even an, “Excuse me, but could you spare a square?”

The Senator should not only resign from office, he should reimburse Minnesota taxpayers for the renovations to the airport bathrooms.

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