Wednesday, August 21st, 2019

Roll Over Xenu, Tell Travolta the News


Tom Cruise has abandoned Scientology for another cult, according to NewsBiscuit:

Actor Tom Cruise has dismayed former colleagues at the Church of Scientology after announcing his conversion to the Church of the Electric Light Orchestra.

Cruise’s new religion, founded earlier this year, is based around the music of the much loved seventies and early eighties light prog/pop crossover group. The sect has already gathered over fifteen million followers worldwide following heavy TV promotion of the compilation album, The ELO Collection.

The church’s teachings focus on the use of enticing, string-based classical sounds in a contemporary soft-rock setting. Believers argue that when the orchestral rock-fusion form is finally perfected by a reunion of the classic Lynne-Bevan-Kaminski based line up of the group, the giant ELO spaceship – first seen on the cover of 1977 album Out of the Blue – will descend carrying the faithful away to a paradise pop planet called Xanadu.

The love
The echoes of long ago
You needed the world to know
They are in Xanadu

The dream
That came through a million years
That lived on through all the tears
It came to Xanadu

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