Since I haven’t caused enough trouble lately
When the family and I made the trip to the Wisconsin State Fair, Will presented us with a tough choice on the midway. At the “duckpond” Will won an inflatable bat. He had a choice between a purple bat covered with hippie peace symbols and the one pictured at right. On the one hand, I really have no interest in raising the next Abbie Hoffman or Dave Berkman. On the other hand, I really wanted to avoid having the flag police track my son down and send him to reform school.
Like most parents I went the patriotic route, hoping that my son might take an example from Theodore Roosevelt and speak softly while carrying a big, patriotic, inflatable stick. Kinda goes with my theme that children should be seen and not heard.
Still, I did have second thoughts. But then I thought about the flag throughout history. Here’s Betsy Ross presenting the first flag to General Washington. Somebody forgot to tell her about United States Code Title 4 Chapter 1, 8b
The flag should never touch anything beneath it, such as the ground, the floor, water, or merchandise.
Here’s a picture of Uncle Sam. This shameless hippie has obviously never heard of United States Code Title 4 Chapter 1, 8j, No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform
…or United States Code Title 4 Chapter 1, 8i, The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever.
Here’s Lady Liberty draping herself in the flag:
Finally, here’s a picture of George Washington obviously not properly illuminating an American Flag flying at night:
I think Will’s inflatable flag bat is in good company.