Solving problems the Scrima way
I often get asked, “Gee, Wigderson, you’re such a smart guy, what would you do about the city’s problems? What would you do to lower taxes, solve Waukesha’s long-term water problems, bring businesses to the city, and make the buses full?”
Fortunately, I have a weekly column to answer all those questions. The toughest question for me is really, “If I screw up this comma placement will the copy editor send me another e-mail explaining comma faults?”
By the way, did you notice I spelled “buses” correctly?
But let’s try to seriously answer the question in the Jeff Scrima-esque way.
“Yes! I am truly honored to be here to answer that question. I would first try to bring everyone together. I would bring the city workers and the faith-based community together in an open process and listen. Because I bring new energy to these problems, I’m sure we can find the best model to solve them. I know we can do this without Milwaukee’s help because I’ve travelled to many places and stayed in a Holiday Inn each night. I know we can find a holistic solution that will bring relief, development, and independence by bringing the parties together in a way that will show dignity, sensitivity, and compassion. The Wharton school of continuing education credits showed me how to do this with innovation and creativity.”
“Oh, yeah, and every proposal I have that is remotely substantive will cost money, but that’s okay because I’m going to misrepresent what a department head said. Let’s work together to make Waukesha the bestest number onest place smallest city in America because I will decree all sexual predators will be banished.”
If anyone thinks I’m kidding, I’ve got two days worth of notes you can read. At one point I raised my pen in disbelief at the sexual predator line, and a person near me started pointing at my note pad, “Write that down!”