Tuesday, July 16th, 2019

Democratic Senator Herb Kohl is crossing party lines today to endorse Republican candidate Eric Hovde for Senate. Kohl admitted that the endorsement of a possible successor from another party was highly unusual. “The other day I was trying to express solidarity with my players and I told them, ‘Black or white, tall or short, Jewish, […]

Governor Scott Walker announced today that his attorneys may have uncovered evidence that he might possibly know former aide Tim Russell. Walker hired Mike Steinle of Terschan, Steinle & Ness, and John Gallo of Sidley Austin, to investigate aspects of his past as it relates to the ongoing John Doe probe into political activity during Walker’s time as […]

Wisconsin Democratic Party Spokesman Graeme Zielinski announced this morning that he will no longer make half-crazy remarks about Republicans and the media. Speaking to an empty press room Saturday, Zielinski released a recording of his statement. “No more half-c-c-c-crazy for me. From now on, it’s all-c-c-c-crazy, all-the-time. I’m going to make Ozzy Osbourne biting the […]

Milwaukee County workers are used to noise out on MacArthur Square, but they were shocked by what they heard on March 28th. “I was watching some kids play soccer when suddenly there was someone shouting at them from the top floor of the courthouse, something about his lawn,” said law librarian Eunice Howell. “I never […]

 Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett said that he was really drunk on Friday and has no idea why he announced he was running for governor. “Run for governor? Me? I’ve done that twice. Why the hell would I say that?” “I used every spending cut [Governor Scott] Walker gave me to use. I stuck it to […]

City of Waukesha Mayor Jeff Scrima announced today the city will be changing its name. The new name for the city will be Scrimasha. “Nothing will make this city the number one bestest small vigorously artistic city in the country faster than a good opportunity for rebranding. I figure as long as we’re redoing the […]

I’m sure Abele’s die-hard supporters are hoping for a different outcome. Print this entry

State Representative Bill Kramer’s office is sending out a handy-dandy mailer to all of his supporters letting them know that if they had a yard sign of his in the past, they can expect another yard sign this week. (The Lovely Doreen from Waukesha asks that her sign be placed away from the Halloween decorations.) […]

Tom Cruise has abandoned Scientology for another cult, according to NewsBiscuit: Actor Tom Cruise has dismayed former colleagues at the Church of Scientology after announcing his conversion to the Church of the Electric Light Orchestra. Cruise’s new religion, founded earlier this year, is based around the music of the much loved seventies and early eighties […]

Child rearing the Ayn Rand way yields results. Since the day Johanna was born, we’ve worked to indoctrinate her into the truth of Objectivism. Every night we read to her from the illustrated, unabridged edition of Atlas Shrugged—glossing over all the hardcore sex parts, mind you, but dwelling pretty thoroughly on the stuff about being proud […]