Friday, September 30th, 2016

That Post Office sure is racist

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The United States Postal Service is thinking of closing a few offices (peacefully) to save money, and the local liberals are unhappy about the ones targeted for closure here:

What do black people need a post office for anyway?

(Memo to Bill Christofferson: They’re “African Americans” now. Oh, and “Uppity” is no longer PC.)

Actually, why do any of us need a Post Office?

Postal Employee: “May I help you?”
Kramer: “Yeah, I’d like to cancel my mail.”
Postal Employee: “Certainly. How long would you like us to hold it?”
Kramer: “Oh, no, no. I don’t think you get me. I want out, permanently.”
Newman: “I’ll handle this, Violet. Why don’t you take your three hour break? Oh, calm down, everyone. No one’s cancelling any mail.”
Kramer: “Oh, yes, I am.”
Newman: “What about your bills?”
Kramer: “The bank can pay ’em.”
Newman: “The bank. What about your cards and letters?”
Kramer: “E-mail, telephones, fax machines. Fedex, telex, telegrams, holograms.”
Newman: “All right, it’s true! Of course nobody needs mail. What do you think, you’re so clever for figuring that out? But you don’t know the half of what goes on here. So just walk away, Kramer. I beg of you.”
Supervisor: “Is everything all right here, Postal Employee Newman?”
Newman: “Yes, sir, I believe everything is all squared away. Isn’t it, Mr. Kramer?”
Kramer: “Oh, yeah. As long as I stop getting mail!”

To answer Christofferson,
Passport? I already get the photo at Wal Mart or Walgreens. We can’t consolidate the rest of the process with the Social Security offices around the country, pay the states to issue them at their DMV locations, or (shudder) Wal Mart?

Money order? Why does the Post Office do them now? Send them to Wal Mart.

Need to mail a package? UPS, Fed Ex, and even USPS will pick up the package at your door. Or take them to Wal Mart. They often have UPS stores inside.

So, why would an African American (or anyone else) need a Post Office?

 

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