Monday, October 24th, 2016

Who invited President Obama to your wedding?


President Barack Obama wants to be the bride at every wedding, or at least at the gift opening:

Got a birthday, anniversary, or wedding coming up?

Let your friends know how important this election is to you—register with Obama 2012, and ask for a donation in lieu of a gift. It’s a great way to support the President on your big day. Plus, it’s a gift that we can all appreciate—and goes a lot further than a gravy bowl.

I remember joking with the Lovely Doreen that we would include contribution envelopes with our wedding invitations, but the cash was meant for us. (Doreen vetoed the idea.)

So let’s revisit our friend Julia, the young woman of the Obama campaign’s fantasies. Julia has just graduated from college with a degree in feminist studies and has absolutely no job prospects. Her anthropolgy major fiancee is in the same dire circumstances, and they both have huge college student loans to pay off. Julia’s step-father agrees to help pay for the wedding. At $35/plate for catering, it’s a little expensive but Julia and her fiancee keep the wedding small. Besides, she figures, she can use the money from her wedding gifts to help defray their share of the costs. Maybe there will be enough left over to pay for a weekend up north for a honeymoon.

The next day at the gift opening Julia opens envelope after envelope to find:

Dear Julia and ,

Congratulations on your wedding! In your name, we made a $200 donation to President Barack Obama’s re-election campaign fund. We’re so glad that you chose this very important time in our nation’s history to get married so we could honor the occasion with a donation in your name.


Could be worse. Of Gaius Caligula, Suetonius wrote,

At the marriage of Livia Orestilla to Gaius Piso, he attended the ceremony himself, gave orders that the bride be taken to his own house, and within a few days divorced her; two years later he banished her, because of a suspicion that in the meantime she had gone back to her former husband. Others write that being invited to the wedding banquet, he sent word to Piso, who reclined opposite to him: “Don’t take liberties with my wife,” and at once carried her off with him from the table, the next day issuing a proclamation that he had got himself a wife in the manner of Romulus and Augustus.

Caligula nearly emptied the state treasury, too.

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