Saturday, August 24th, 2019

Predictions for 2013


Every year I make a list of predictions, and every year we check last year’s predictions. This year I consulted my spirit guide Joan, a bartender I knew in a previous life, to help me see deep into the future (or at least the next few months). After rubbing the magic martini shaker, I began to see visions of pink elephants. But then I sobered up and wrote this instead.

Remember, I offer these predictions in the spirit in which they were written, whatever that means. Please, no wagering.

  1. Justice Patience “Pat” Roggensack will win re-election.
  2. Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett will not receive an appointment from President Barack Obama.
  3. The John Doe investigation into the county administration under Scott Walker when he was Milwaukee County Executive will produce no further prosecutions.
  4. Tony Evers will win re-election at State Superintendent for the Department of Public Instruction. The legislature will then take away more of his responsibilities.
  5. Neither branch of the legislature will vote to abolish the Secretary of State position or the State Treasurer position.
  6. Voter ID will prevail in court.
  7. There will be unsuccessful attempts made to recall Justices David Prosser, Annette Ziegler and Michael Gableman.
  8. I will become a paid spokesman for Snickers.
  9. The city of Waukesha will not break ground on a convention center. No agreement will be reached between the city and the developers on financing.
  10. Assembly Speaker Pro Tem Bill Kramer (R-Waukesha) will be caught throwing paper airplanes from the chair.
  11. Milwaukee County Executive Chris Abele will be fined for launching fireworks off the Courthouse roof.
  12. Governor Scott Walker will not overrule his transportation secretary and the Zoo Interchange project will be delayed.
  13. Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner will announce his intention to run for re-election in 2014.
  14. Wisconsin will cut the state income tax.
  15. The City of Waukesha will receive approval of the diversion from Lake Michigan.
  16. Milwaukee County Executive Chris Abele will again propose a budget with no increase in the tax levy. At least one Milwaukee County Board member will call him a racist because of it.
  17. Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke will drive over one of his own car chase spike strips.
  18. There will be no long term fix for transportation funding in the next state budget.
  19. The state legislature will pass a mining bill acceptable to Gogebic Taconite.
  20. Global warming will cause snow and rain, after causing last year’s drought. Tornadoes will be Governor Scott Walker’s fault.
  21. Palermo’s Pizza workers will vote against unionization. There will be no apologies from anyone on the left.
  22. Christian Schneider will start wearing sunglasses on Sunday Insight with Charlie Sykes.
  23. Herb Kohl will announce he’s keeping the Milwaukee Bucks but selling the Milk Barn at State Fair.
  24. No gun control measures will pass the state legislature.
  25. City of Waukesha Mayor Jeff Scrima will announce plans to run for re-election. He will claim to have fulfilled all of his campaign promises – vigorously.
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