Monday, August 19th, 2019

Scrima’s top ten excuses for nearly hitting an employee with his car


Shortly after the incident in the city hall parking lot where Waukesha Mayor Jeff Scrima nearly hit city employee Derek Knox with his car, Scrima consulted his “smart people” and came up with a list of possible excuses:

10. I was trying to reduce headcount at City Hall.
9. For a moment I thought I was in Vice President Biden’s motorcade.
8. He was worth 100 points.
7. It had to deliver in 30 minutes or less.
6. Somebody should fix that pothole like I promised.
5. Was still confused about the plot from a Phineas & Ferb episode and it distracted me.
4. Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon… you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.
3. It’s all James Wigderson’s fault.
2. I borrowed the car from Stephen King.
1. I’m blaming it on the nights on Broadway.

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