Saturday, July 20th, 2019

Trump to build new wall

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AFD NEWS Wisconsin – Donald Trump announced this morning, April 1, 2016, that, if elected president, he will build an additional wall around Roswell, NM. “We need to secure our borders. This is very important. We’re going to build a wall. It will be a very big wall. We bigly need this for our security. We will have the best minds, great minds, designing the wall, and we will get Mars to pay for it.”

Attendees at an early morning rally at the Olympus Mons resort in Klaatu, WI, were momentarily confused by the announcement before cheering wildly at the news of another wall. The crowd listened to every word as Trump explained the reason for the wall.

“Look. These aliens or whatever that are landing in our desert near our military, they could be terrorists. There’s no screening process,” Trump said. “We don’t know what religion. They could be Muslims, they could be Seventh Day Adventists. I don’t know. The Mormons near there are very smart. I don’t know how Mitt Romney is a Mormon. Do you believe he’s a Mormon? Maybe he came with those aliens. I don’t know. I’m just saying we need a wall, a very big wall, a wall that in case the aliens land they know, look, they’re going to know they’re not welcome here, okay?”

Upon hearing that aliens are not going to be welcome in New Mexico, the crowd began chanting, “Trump, Trump, Trump!” The candidate paced back and forth on the stage for a moment before tilting his head slightly back before continuing.

“So anyway, we’re going to build a wall and it’s not going to cost us a thing. We’re going to get Mars to pay for it. Very smart these Martians. They trick us into paying for their canals and what did we get out of it? Another bad deal. We lose all the time to the Martians. We lose all the time to China and to Mexico. Do you know how many jobs we lost to Mars? It’s because we can’t ship there. We don’t win anymore. NASA doesn’t win anymore.So if they want to keep trading with us, they are going to have to pay for the wall. And if they don’t want to pay for the wall, it’s the same deal as Mexico. It will get ten feet higher and they will still have to pay for it.”

Trump walked off stage for a moment before walking back on with a shiny new hat. “How do you like the hat?” Trump asked a cheering crowd. He took it off to show the crowd what was written on the aluminum foil. “Look, it says here,” pointing at the hat, “in Martian, ‘Make America Great Again.’”

After the rally, there were long lines of Trump supporters at the booths buying the new hats for $16 each.

 

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