After being married for some time, you may find that the honeymoon phase ends and new obstacles begin. Even when you feel like you’re in a failing marriage that’s impossible to repair, don’t be so quick to wave white flags and surrender and leave—there may be signs you’re missing that indicate your marriage is worth fighting for and saving. Listed below are ways to know when your marriage is worth saving.
You’re unsure if leaving is the right choice.
When you think there are irreconcilable differences in your marriage that take your relationship to the point of no return, you may want to get a divorce initiated as quickly as possible. You may find yourself searching the web using keywords like “divorce lawyers near me” in the hope of identifying local attorneys who can help you sooner rather than later. Typically, divorce proceedings are full of emotional turmoil and loads of financial and legal paperwork, so you’ll want to have an experienced divorce attorney on your side who will fight for a fair division of assets on your behalf. The right attorney for you is an expert in negotiations regarding prenuptial agreements, spousal support, alimony, marital assets, and differentiating marital property from separate property. If you have children, it’s a good idea to find a divorce lawyer with years of experience dealing with family law, child custody, and child support. A superb family law attorney always puts the best interest of the child first and will help you make the most appropriate child custody and visitation arrangements based on the child’s needs.
But suppose you’re constantly feeling doubt after your lawyer helps you apply for divorce and go through the legal process. In that case, it may be because valid reasons to consider saving your marriage still exist. Sleepless nights and uncertainties may signal that you’re not actually at the point of no return.
Respect is still a factor.
Ambivalent feelings aren’t the only ones you should take as signs, as clear feelings can also tell you about yourself and your relationship with your spouse. If you feel like your spouse still respects you and you still respect them, this may be a sign that there’s a chance for saving the marriage after all. As long as respect and love are still present between the two of you, you may be able to work your issues out, improve your communication, and give the marriage the possibility of surviving.
You both are willing to put in the work.
It’s common for couples to drift apart because both partners start putting less time and attention into the relationship or don’t put in the effort needed to maintain a healthy marriage. If you both want to rebuild your relationship and strengthen your bond, it may be because you have a union you don’t want to lose after all.
Discuss the possibility of seeing a marriage coach or receiving couples therapy from a licensed counselor. Alternative options that may be more effective and exciting include intensive marriage counseling retreats. Consider a marriage retreat that you can get the most out of—a retreat centered around encouraging you and your spouse to form a stronger emotional connection and address the root of your issues. Try a couples’ retreat rather than attending weekly marriage counseling sessions that lack the time or depth necessary to deal with your marital problems. A retreat provides a neutral, safe, and supportive environment that gives you the chance to improve communication and work through trust issues, troubles with emotional and sexual intimacy, and more.
If you can remember the reasons you fell in love with your spouse in the first place, want to rekindle the spark in your marriage, and can take the time to do so, your marriage may be worth saving.