Friday, December 9th, 2016

Assembly Republicans need a sense of humor

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State Rep. Tom Nelson (D-Kaukauna) is staging a “sit-in” in the state assembly chambers until a state budget gets passed. Maybe one of Nelson’s colleagues should remind him where the state senate chambers are, since the state assembly has already passed the budget and they passed a partial budget to fund K through 12 education at the levels Governor Doyle demanded. Schools could be fully funded at any time if the Democrats in the state senate would just get their act together and if Governor Doyle stopped posing for unholy pictures while slandering the opposition.

But, hey, are the Democrats really interested in passing a budget, or just grandstanding, name calling and scaring people needlessly that the sky is falling? (Yes, I’m plugging my column, well worth the fifty cents.)

So what to do about Nelson? What follows is why I could never hold public office.
Me: “Mr. Speaker, I rise to point out that I just saw a group of mice run across the chamber floor.”
Another State Rep: “Mr. Speaker, is the technical term a brood of mice, a herd of mice, or a den of mice?”
Me: “I believe it’s a den of mice.”
Other State Rep: “I think it’s a herd. But they’re not nearly as bothersome as the roach problem. I believe the cockroaches are attracted to the food being eaten in the chamber. Mr. Speaker, I request the Sergeant at Arms ban all eating in the Assembly chamber.”
Me: “Mr. Speaker, as my distinguished colleague well knows, once there’s been an infestation of roaches and mice, it’s almost impossible to get rid of. I suggest if the ban on all food and drink in the chamber doesn’t work after a day or two, we use the bigggest, baddest, most toxic and foul-smelling chemicals known to man to rid the chamber of vermin.”

I’d have Nelson’s little protest over in two days, tops.

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