Sunday, November 19th, 2017

Can’t see the future past the olives


Every year I make a list of predictions for the coming year. The idea is to create a list of things that have a reasonable probability of occurring to provoke discussion on things that interest me, only to watch my predictions fall apart by the end of the year.

Time once again to look at the predictions I made about the year just passed. I’ll leave it up to you to score how well I did. Here are the predictions and my comments.  Predictions are in italics.

Scott Walker will be the next governor from Wisconsin, winning approximately 53% of the vote to 46% for Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett.

Gosh, I’m good.  Walker won 52% to 46%.

After the Minnesota Vikings lose to the Indianapolis Colts in the Super Bowl, Brett Favre will demand to be traded to the Chicago Bears.

A bookie I know told me he started making money on football the day he stopped betting on football.

Senator Russ Feingold will beat businessman Terence Wall 52%-48%, and GOP observers who had nothing to do with the decision will say the party should have invested more money and effort into unseating Feingold.  Those who do have influence over the amount of money and resources the GOP spends on this race will use the final result to justify not doing anything.

Terence Wall gave me free ice cream at the State GOP convention.

Seriously, if you had told me at the beginning of 2010 that the Republicans would find a decent candidate to run against Feingold, I would not have believed you.

All of Wisconsin’s congressmen win re-election except for Steve Kagen and Ron Kind. Dave Obey has a really close call in his re-election race against Sean Duffy.

That deal to let Julie Lassa run unopposed in the Democratic Primary just looks better and better.  Meanwhile, Northwoods Baseball now has a bi-partisan record of hurting political careers.

Jim Sensenbrenner increases his margin of victory over the last election even though the Democrats attempt to use the Congressman’s health as an issue.

Give the Dems credit for not using Sensenbrenner’s health as an issue.  On the other hand, they barely ran a race.  Still, let’s check the record.  Sensenbrenner in 2008 79.6% over independent Robert Raymond 20.2%.  In 2010 Sensenbrenner 69.5% over Democrat Kolosso 27.2%.  I think when I made the prediction I forgot about 2008 and remembered 2006 when Sensenbrenner beat Bryan Kennedy 61.8% to 35.7%.

The Milwaukee Brewers will see marginal improvement and not make the playoffs with a record of 83-79.

77-85, and an excuse to finally upgrade the pitching.

KISS will be elected to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley will issue a “Hall of Fame” box set and charge Peter Criss and Ace Frehley a “promotion fee” to offset any royalties the two might earn from the box set’s sales.

Someday KISS will be in the Hall of Fame, or Gene Simmons will find a way to buy it.  Until then, the Hall of Fame is nothing but an empty shell.

Waukesha Mayor Larry Nelson will not win re-election.  He will lose to Darryl Enriquez, formerly of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, in the general election.  An opinion page columnist in the Waukesha Freeman will refer to it as “the wingtip revolution.”

Remember what I said about Northwoods Baseball?  Anyway, we obviously did not get Enriquez as mayor.  We got SpongeBob.

State Representative Mark Gundrum will defeat Judge Rick Congdon.

Bank it, baby!  Seriously, though, even for Doyle, what was he thinking?

New Milwaukee Archbishop Jerome Listecki will publicly criticize Catholic politicians by name for supporting legalized abortion, domestic partnerships, and embryonic stem cell research.

I’m sorry Archbishop, I couldn’t hear you over the crickets.

Science will invent a translator for Ed Garvey’s thoughts.

Some miracles are beyond the reach of modern science.

Despite continuing coverage of his personal scandals, State Representative Scott Newcomer will win the Republican primary in the 33rd Assembly District.  However, he will get less than 53% of the vote.  The Democratic challenger in November will not be an issue in Newcomer’s re-election.

At some point, even the safest Republican districts will only tolerate so much.  Give Newcomer credit for getting out when he did.

State Representative Jeff Wood will only be reprimanded by the Assembly.  In May, he will announce himself as rehabilitated, and run for re-election as an independent.  He will lose in November to the Republican.

Okay, who would have suspected the final scene in the Jeff Wood drama?  Other than legislative Democrats, of course, who protected him until the end for that one final vote.  I hope it was worth it to them.

In an attempt by Louis Fortis to get more advertising revenue, Boris and Doris will review the phone sex numbers in the back of the Crazy Shepherd.

Truth is stranger than prediction.

Republicans will regain control of the state senate.  Leah Vukmir will beat Jim Sullivan, Ed “conspiracy theorists are patriots” Thompson will beat Kathleen Vinehout.  Vinehout’s concession speech will be in haiku.

We wish Ed a full recovery, and wonder what might have been had he been healthy.

There will be no new changes to drunk driving laws next year in Wisconsin.

Since there’s a two-drink minimum at the legislature, this wasn’t that hard to predict.

There will be no new agreement with the Northwoods Baseball League for building a stadium at Frame Park in Waukesha.

What do Larry Nelson and Dan Kapanke have in common?  Memo to other local politicians: If someone talks about bringing Northwoods Baseball, run them out of town.

The City and Village of Pewaukee will finally merge.  Waukesha will ask if we can build a pipeline to the lake.  Sheriff Trawicki will be elected mayor.

A Pewaukee divided cannot stand.  Maybe it didn’t happen this year, but it will happen soon.  I don’t know if Scrima has offered to drain the lake for them yet.

Wisconsin Right to Life will win their lawsuit to overturn a law publicly funding state Supreme Court races.

I’m a little bit early on this one.

Plans will be announced to close the Milwaukee Mile at State Fair Park.

Saved for another year.

Americans for Prosperity-WI will have more members than WEAC by the November election.

I don’t think they hit the target, but it was close.

Lt. Governor Barbara Lawton will resign before the end of her term.

She did not resign, but I don’t think Doyle told her he was going to Mexico, either.

JB Van Hollen will easily win re-election as the state’s attorney general with 56% or 57% of the vote over “that DNR guy that hates hunters,” despite not finding any terrorists.  It’ll occur to Democrats after the election that maybe they should find a candidate with experience as a prosecutor.

Van Hollen won 57.8% to 42.2%.  Next time maybe Democrats should find someone with a law license.

ELO will see a revival in popularity as the musical “Xanadu” tours the country.  By the end of the year, talks will begin regarding a remake of the movie to try to follow the financial success of Mamma Mia!

Happy Birthday to Jeff Lynne of ELO and The Travelling Wilburys!  No movie remake in the works yet, but Lynne recently produced five tracks for the upcoming Joe Walsh solo album.

The mayor of Milwaukee will not be put in charge of MPS.  Not that anyone is in charge now, except for the inmates.

As Darth Vader would say, “All too easy.”

At least one member of the state legislature will see their career come to a crashing end when their stupid behavior is caught on video taken by someone’s cell phone.

Not this year.

Brett Davis will be elected Lt. Governor.  There will be renewed discussion about abolishing the position.

I still think he would make a great Superintendent of Public Instruction.

Owen Robinson will be mistaken for me this year.  He’ll point out that I’m much better looking.

Oh, like Owen would ever tell anyone. As for whether I’m better looking, is there any doubt?

No agreement will be made on a proposed RTA for Southeastern Wisconsin this year.

Die! Die! Die!

Senator Russ Feingold will be seen at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day with a mirror as his date for the evening.

Was that a mirror or John Nichols?  I couldn’t tell because of the green screen background.

Bonus prediction: Jupiter will be consumed by black monoliths with the dimensions 1 x 4 x 9. The Monoliths will eventually supply the mass necessary to turn Jupiter into a miniature star. Al Gore will blame global warming.

Al Gore finally did something Nobel worthy when he said corn ethanol was a bad idea.

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