Monday, September 26th, 2016

Drink like a member of the state legislature

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Are you watching the state budget debate on Wisconsin Eye while waiting for the Milwaukee Brewers to come on? It’s time for the state budget drinking game. Yes, you, too, can drink like a member of the state legislature. Start with beer and a bottle of your favorite hard liquor. Here are the simple rules:

Every time a Democrat says “extreme” – 1 drink of beer

Every time a Democrat says “middle class” – 1 drink of beer

When a Democrat says “Koch Brothers,” you have to switch to drinking a Cuba Libre.

Every time a Republican says, “balanced budget” – 1 drink of beer

Every time anyone mentions the recalls – 1 drink of beer

Every time a Republican says “balanced budget while not raising taxes” – two drinks

Every time a Republican says ‘budget surplus” – shot (this is for professionals only)

Every time the new laws regulating breweries are mentioned, – down your beer.

Every time Speaker Pro Tem Bill Kramer is mentioned by name by a Democrat, time for a shot and a cigar

Every time Speaker Pro Tem Bill Kramer or State Rep Marc Pocan make a sarcastic remark, drink. If one of them makes the remark about the other, two drinks. (To prevent death from alcohol poisoning, the whole room has to hear the remark.)

Every time Minority Leader Peter Barca calls for Kramer to be removed from the chair, chug your beer.

Every time State Senator Michael Ellis yells at someone, time for a shot

Every time a protestor interrupts, time for a shot. If Mike Ellis yells at the protestor, two shots. If Ellis curses audibly at or about the protestor, three shots.

Every time the protestors in the gallery start singing, whoever hits the “mute” button first does not have to drink. Everyone else has to do two shots.

If a Democrat says “This is what Democracy looks like,” salute before chugging your beer. “This is not what Democracy looks like” requires two shots, unless a Republican says it. Then it’s three.

Update! Additional State Senate debate rules:

Every time Fred Risser or Mike Ellis reminds everyone how long they have served, chug your beer slowly.

Every time Luther Olsen speaks, one shot of grain alcohol.

When Chris Larson speaks, take your neighbor’s drink (to the left, of course).

When the Democrats claim “Health care is a right,” time for a shot of Dr. McGillicuddy.

Every time a Democrat bashes a business (like Walmart), drink!

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