Tuesday, September 27th, 2016

In the bubble

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The Wigderson Library & Pub has just learned that State Senator Carol Roessler (R-Nanny) is planning on proposing legislation that will require all children under the age of 18 to be enveloped in bubble wrap. When asked if that included when the child was sleeping at night, Roessler replied,

“Parents don’t understand how dangerous it is for the child after he or she has been put to bed for the night. Depending on the age of the child, the child might roll into the bars of their cribs. If they’re over 16 and don’t fit in the baby crib anymore, they may roll right off the bed and hurt themselves.”

Roessler was the sponsor of the recently passed bill mandating car seats for children less than eight years old. She said that bill with her bubble wrap bill will almost make every childhood completely safe in Wisconsin.

Almost?

“Well, I also plan on proposing a new 10 mph speed limit for automobiles carrying children. It’s for the children, you know.”

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