Thursday, September 29th, 2016

News Graeme Zielinski can use

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In case you haven’t heard yet, controversial former Democratic Party Communications Director Graeme Zielinski was arrested in June in Jefferson County for a third incidence of Operating While Intoxicated. He faces a minimum of 30 days in jail, and could get a year. We’re waiting for Democratic leadership to explain why they had a two-time drunk driver acting as the party spokesman during the recall elections (was his salary subsidized by the tavern league?).  Was he drunk tweeting? Was his slanderous rant against Kathy Nickolaus alcohol-fueled

We learned from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel’s Dan Bice this morning that Zielinski was fired from the newspaper, something that would have been extremely relevant when he was the Democratic Party spokesman. Did the Democratic party know that when Chairman Mike Tate hired Zielinski? Why was Zielinski fired from the newspaper?

But while we’re waiting for answers, the research department of the Wigderson Library & Pub found a couple of recipes that Zielinski can use in the very near future.

Homemade prison hooch: Orange Jack

 A Sealable Bag
3 Containers of Orange Juice Concentrate
1 ½ Cups of Sugar
3 Dinner Rolls
Tap Water

Takes about six days. Remember to “burp the bag” (let the gasses out) right after the screws have turned out the lights. When the orange jack is ready, strain through a t-shirt. I’m guessing the ingredients won’t cost more than a carton of cigarettes.

Here’s a recipe for prison pruno, the other classic jailhouse hooch.

By most accounts, pruno isn’t something a normal human would want to drink, so potent that two gallons is said to be “a virtual liquor store,” enough to get a dozen people mindblowingly wasted. And while it tastes so putrid that even hardened prisoners gulp it down while holding their noses, they’ll go to incredible lengths to make it, whipping up batches from frosting, yams, raisins and damn near everything.

Here’s some prison cell pizza – delicious!

If you blow the circuit in jail, you knock out power to 4 other cells leaving the other inmates without power, tv, etc. This could result in a shanking so be careful.

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