Tuesday, November 21st, 2017

So who’s your candidate?


Okay peeps. Tomorrow is the Republican presidential primary and I have bad news. There are no other contested elections in my neighborhood.

That’s right. If I decide to join the other five people in my ward in voting, the only choice on my ballot is for president.

I have more bad news. Paul Ryan isn’t running. Neither is Mitch Daniels. Chris Christie said he’d rather die than run for president. Bobby Jindal will probably watch the election in November at home with a po-boy in one hand and a bowl of gumbo in the other. Pat Paulsen is dead, so we voters don’t even have that option outside of Illinois.

Our choices for president are former Senator Rick Santorum and former Governor Mitt Romney. I didn’t nominate them. They nominated themselves and nobody stopped them.

And really, the only choice left is Romney. Not because I don’t like Santorum, but he has the same odds as a write-in candidate at this point.

But then it occurred to me. I have real power if I go vote this time. Unlike in other elections, my vote really counts. It’s very likely that I will be the deciding vote in my ward between Santorum and Romney. Whoever I choose will win the popular vote in my ward.

Let me explain how likely I hold the key to winning my ward. I live in one of the few wards in the city of Waukesha where a Democrat has an even chance of winning – more or less. Democrats even put up yard signs in my neighborhood.

Shocking, I know.

So it’s likely that the Lovely Doreen from Waukesha and I may be the only Republicans to show up. The other four people could quite possibly be Democrats.

Why they would show up, I have no idea. It’s not like President Barack Obama has a primary challenger. But they’re Democrats in Waukesha. It’s not like they’re accepted in polite society, so they probably have nothing else better to do.

But back to me, because that’s who is really important here. I have to say I am really disappointed in the Romney and Santorum campaigns. Neither one of them have knocked on my door asking for my vote.

Here I am, the key swing voter in my ward, officially undecided, and not even a surrogate has asked me for my vote.

Oh, I’m sure they tried calling. However, I ripped the land line out months ago. I’m sure they tried mailing (something I’m known for having tried during my politically active days), but I probably tossed their mailers out with the coupons for car washes. (Has anyone noticed we have a lot of car washes in Waukesha?)

No, my vote is reserved for the candidate that personally asks for it. I want the Iowa and New Hampshire treatment. I want to be able to look the next Republican nominee square in the eye, shake his hand, and ask him the tough questions.

Because at stake is nothing less than the swing vote in ward 7 of the city of Waukesha.

So Mitt, Rick, if you’re reading this, or if someone on your staff is reading this, you only have 24 hours to stop by and ask for my vote. Otherwise, I may have to vote for someone else.

Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich (left) and award-winning local columnist James Wigderson

I understand if he wins ward 7 in the city of Waukesha, he might just go all the way to the convention.

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