Thursday, September 29th, 2016

The foggy oracle of 2008

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Each year at this time I peer into the magic crystal ball, and each year I just see my reflection. But I still make predictions. Using the typical sportswriter’s accuracy for predicting NFL games as my benchmark, I don’t do half badly. On the other hand, have you noticed how few sportswriters chuck the job and move to Las Vegas?

Herewith are the results from last year’s predictions with the update in italics.
1. Despite high turnover on the Waukesha County Board, Jim Dwyer will remain as County Board Chairman. Meetings will still continue to be held during the day preventing many qualified people from running and serving.
Well, yeah. I gave myself an easy one to start.

2. The Waukesha School District will win its arbitration case with the teacher’s union. The teachers will retaliate by behaving unprofessionally even though the district didn’t get very much.
The school district opted instead to punt.

3. At least one local radio personality will be suspended for something said on air.
Not even off air. I was really betting on Joel McNally.

4. State Representative Bill Kramer will only face token opposition from the Democrats.
Well, define token. Okay, I was wrong, but it proved to be a safe Republican seat.

5. There will not be a school referendum in 2008 in Waukesha.
Hah! Score one for me.

6. Jonah Goldberg’s book will be judged more by its cover than by its content.
Too easy.

7. Mayor Larry Nelson will wear a suit, tie and even real shoes to a city function.
Yes, yes he did. Unfortunately, it was Governor Lee Dreyfus’ funeral.

8. Alderman and County Supervisor Kathleen Cummings will be caught talking to herself oddly. No, but how can you be in favor of train whistles?

9. I will lose weight, stop snoring, and figure out my sinus problems. (Cross-reference my New Year’s resolutions) I stopped snoring, just in the nick of time.

10. The Dallas Cowboys will win the Super Bowl. Only if you play Madden 2008.

11. Rumors will start about Waukesha County Executive Dan Vrakas running for governor in 2010 (even if I have to start them). I’m trying Allison, but I’m the only one mentioning his name. The problem is there’s this guy over in Wauwatosa…

12. The Milwaukee Brewers will finish 88-74. (88+74=162, okay I didn’t screw that up this year.) 90-72, not a bad prediction.

13. Bud Selig will not finish 2008 as Baseball Commissioner. This was wrong early.

14. Some politician will go to jail in Madison but it won’t be Governor Doyle or former Assembly Speaker Scott Jensen. Close. How’s the drunk tank, Representative Wood?

15. Paul Soglin will be arrested for counterfeiting tickets to enter downtown Madison on Halloween. He’ll be sentenced to community service – snowplowing Madison’s bike trails. He’ll be caught this year.

16. The Republican nominee for President will be… Mitt Romney. So much for the barnstormin’ Mormon.

17. The Democratic nominee for President will be… Barack Obama. Do we have to kiss his ring?

18. Joe Liebermann will run for Vice President. And I’m leaving it at that. He gave a great vice presidential speech at the Republican convention.

19. Britney Spears will be pregnant. With John Edwards’ love child.

20. Assembly Democrats will win the state assembly and State Senate Democrats will retain control. Oh, the humanity!

21. There will be a human rights protest or incident at the Beijing Olympics that will be ignored by the media until the blogs and talk radio forces them to cover it – too late. The protestors were better organized worldwide than the Chinese.

22. Jim Doyle will propose his own version of Healthy Wisconsin. Lord help us, but Doyle may be the only one to save us from the madness.

23. Jim Doyle will propose shifting school funding to the sales tax. He’ll call it “property tax relief.” I think this idea is actually DOA. How’d that happen?

24. State Supreme Court Justice Louis Butler will win re-election. Federal Judge Louis Butler. It’s like whack-a-mole.

25. Local activist Steve Edlund will be caught skinny-dipping in the Waukesha South High School Pool. No, but we had to hear about sex in Frame Park. Ewwww.

26. Ed Thompson will be elected mayor of Tomah. Somebody in the family has to hold a steady job, even if he is a conspiracy theory nut.

27. The United States will have forces inside Pakistan by the end of the year. Barack has a list of 41 other countries to invade, too.

28. Ann Coulter will be fined by the FCC for uttering an obscenity on the air. She will blame her critics. I think the broken jaw saved her.

Bonus leap year prediction:
29. JB Van Hollen will not find any terrorist training camps in Wisconsin.
No, the GAB doesn’t count.

I count 10 of 29 for a correct score of 34%. Better than your daily horoscope, almost as good as the weatherman.

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