Tuesday, October 25th, 2016

We want Zielinski!


In what can only be described as a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence, Democratic Party spokesman and straitjacket model Graeme Zielinski was a runaway winner this past holiday weekend. Zielinski was picked in the Wiggy poll as the one you readers most wanted to see speak at this week’s Democratic National Convention. (Or, as Rush Limbaugh has been describing it today, “The Star Wars Bar Scene.”)

Who should Democrats invite from Wisconsin to speak at the National Convention?

  • Graeme Zielinski (67%, 18 Votes)
  • Ed Garvey (15%, 4 Votes)
  • Fuzzy Man (11%, 3 Votes)
  • Former State Representative Jeff Wood (7%, 2 Votes)
  • Secretary of State Doug LaFollette (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 27

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Despite the overhelming support for Zielinski (given that the poll was conducted over a holiday weekend), the Democrats are not going to let him speak. Darn it. No apocalyptic visions, no talking to the voices in his head, no accusing Governor Scott Walker of drowning puppies for entertainment.

So we’re left with the other gift that keeps on giving, Congressman Gwen Moore. God bless the Democrats, they’re actually giving Moore a speaking role between 6:00 PM and 7:00 PM. Please, please let her sing.

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